الجمعة، 4 ديسمبر 2015

Come Back

It’s been a long time since I wrote my last post. I even feel like I forgot how to write and also forgot how to write in English!

Too many things happened in the last 4 years. Waaaaah I've just noticed that already 4 years passed!

My second year in USA was much easier than my first year which was full of homesickness. It was better maybe because of my friends and classmates. I used to spend my whole day in the university specially in the library. It was like my second home cuz I was leaving it at almost midnight. The reason behind this was not that I wanted to study. It was because I was scared to go home even though I had a roommate. When I go to my apartment early my mind travels across the ocean. Thinking about my city, my friends, my family, my brothers and sisters and my parents. It was horrible feeling thinking about what if something bad happens to them. In one of my previous posts I talked about a dream in which my city Benghazi was attacked by Gaddafi again. Sadly the dream somehow came true. Other parties started to attack Benghazi. During my stay in USA things were still somehow fine; at least people were still in their houses, go to work, study … Etc. However the news coming from there was not good at all. It started when my neighbor got killed. At that moment I felt like hell and I rewinded every single memory with that neighbor. He was a good man who used to help the whole neighborhood. The time when I heard this sad news was my last semester in my masters. I was also working on my graduation project. I felt so shattered and and that I just wanted to quit everything and go back. I don't know how I survived till graduation. Really till this moment I feel it was a miracle.

Although I was having a tough time because of that I also feel blessed having awesome friends and classmates whom I still in contact with till now. They were my second family and they really took care of me in my worst times ever. May god bless them!

After finishing my semester and my degree successfully I stayed in USA for a month. During that month I got the chance to hang out with my classmates and friends more. I even got presents and sweet letters from them that I am still keeping till now ❤️

Three days before leaving USA I got to know that the airport that I was supposed to land in was closed. This airport is 4 hours away from my city since the one in the city was already closed few months ago due to security reasons. I knew from that moment that things won't be easy and I was right. My flight landed in Tunisia and I was supposed to stay there for an hour transit however this hour turned into three days of waiting a plane that is going to Libya. I wasn't alone, there were tens of Libyans who were stuck even before I come and also who came after me. It was sad seeing my people suffering this way. In the third day I was lucky enough  to find a plane that is going to Libya.

I think I will stop here …lots of stories to tell but another time :)
Good night

الأربعاء، 11 سبتمبر 2013


This is one of the days that I really want to be there with my family, with my mom specially. Two reasons, first because I am sick :( there is no mom to take care of me and encourage me to study :( and second because this is the third or forth time I guess that I hear there was bombing near her work and the glass of her building was completely damaged ): I wish she stays alright till I get home ): it's been a year an half already and I haven't seen her or hugged her T_T which i used to to everyday ):

This really breaks my heart into million pieces ):

الخميس، 21 مارس 2013

Funny ~

I just remembered something really funny, in the 19th of march 2011, my little sister suddenly started crying in the morning, we know that were about to die but still, we were ok, like laughing, eating and pretending we don't hear any of the bombing ... the thing is my sister was crying not bcuz she was scared, she imagined our neighbor holding his two lil girls and the army attacked them "and of course killed them" ... she couldn't handle that picture ... she just wanted to die first so she doesn't see anyone she knows gets hurt...that was the plan for all of us .... to live together or die together ~

السبت، 16 مارس 2013

A dream

This is so weird, I've been dreaming that Benghazi is being attacked by Gaddafi's air force for a week now. Is it because 19th of March is so close? hmmmm  

الثلاثاء، 5 مارس 2013

No time ~

I have sooo much things to say but time doesn't let me do anything ~_~
Maybe If I can go back to Libya, to my lovely Benghazi, I will be able to write some things.
Hopefully ):
I miss Benghazi and I miss the people of Benghazi soooo much ...

الاثنين، 4 فبراير 2013

Six Months ~

    It's been six months since I left Libya, I was and still sad because I left all the people I love there and the most important is that I left Libya when the situation is still critical which really breaks my heart. Life here is comfortable somehow but so stressful specially if you are alone, I mean without your family or your best friends who used to support me the whole time. This is a new life for me, I am not used to depend on myself in everything, and I mean EVERYTHING!, so I kinda feel exhausted and sometimes wish I was home with mom :( I miss her so much! I've never been away from her this long!

Although I left my family and my best friends but lucky me I found my second family and best friends here too ~ Kholoud and Mehad, I love them so much. Noor, She's my sister and Mrs. Abushagoor is like my mom. They are the only thing who makes me hold on this far. I also have other friends who are very special to me, my roommate Marcela, she's the sweetest ever!, my best friend fulbrighter from East Timor, Felismina. Also, Selien, Karan, Pedro and Jose who are really true friends! There are other friends who really mean a lot to me ~ and there is always this friend who's always there when you're really depressed, Fahd. Probably, he's the most person who knows how I feel as living away from Libya because he's been there.

I don't know if I have the power to move on till the end specially these days, I'm just gonna pray to Allah to guide me to the right way whatever it was.

I have a lot of things to say about my journey so far but I have a lot of homeworks so maybe I'll write more in the break which is in two weeks.



الاثنين، 5 ديسمبر 2011


I don't have much time to write but i have an interview in less than one hour
with the US embassy to get the fulbright scholarship .

plz wish me luck :S

I'll be back later ~